I know personally it has made me much less of a control-freak about getting everything done that I'd planned to - I now take each day and each moment much more as it comes and realise that what's important isn't my "To Do List" or getting to places on time or my career path, but doing the best job I can with this cute little being that has been entrusted to me which means lots of hugs, kisses and bedtime stories!

I'd like to compile any thoughts I get on this topic into an article so feel free to e-mail me personally at chattocaz@yahoo.com


Thanks

Caz

Yes, Cas,
I too am less of a control freak.
Having children has enabled me to understand children better, to listen more carefully and to communicate more competently. It has helped me to develop assertiveness and confidence with others; to question alot of my rigid beliefs and thoughts. I have been able to analyse the way I was treated growing up and to change the methods that I was uncomfortable with from my own parents. I am strongly in favour of democracy, respect, non-violence and fairness. I have also become much more non-judgemental and accepting of others in general. I have learnt to make time for myself to do things that excite me . You can't be a good mother unless you look after yourself and family members.

I think it has made me more relaxed and also more community minded. Becoming a mother also inspired me to go back to university and complete my teacher training course, partly because I felt I wanted to be working in an area where I could be making a difference to children and young people (other than my own). I haven't made the move into teaching yet but felt my experience as a parent was very helpful when doing my prac placements, ie, helped me not take some of the kids (I was teaching teenagers) behaviour personally and view even the difficult to manage kids as someone's son or daughter.

Of course I'm a better person - I'm a mother now!
It helps to focus on what "really" matters, I'm so much less stressed at work because at the end of the day as long as my kids are ok, who cares if the paper is stuck in the copier? who cares if the boss is in a bad mood or the receptionist is eating all the bickies ? I've got other more important stuff to focus on. My definition of "success" and "a good day" is changing all the time.

I'm more aware of my flaws such as my impatience as they are made glaringly obvious to me day after day. This is ok, as I can work on changing them and it keeps me humble.

I've had to accept my body as it is, it's never going to be a stick again, and besides those stretch marks are badges of honour! My body developed two children! that's fairly amazing even if I don't look like Posh Spice.

However in all of that , I have much less energy and time to give to my friends. Doesn't make me a worse person, but maybe they think I am??

It has made me a better person by teaching me how to do more than one thing at a time without driving myself crazy, it has taught me how to be a better person therefore making me a better mother, also how to love so much more than what i did before, also taught me how to let the little things in life go and concentrate on what is important. It definitely taught me how to be more responsible because my babies are my life and i have to take care of them. I just love being a mom to my boys...

Hopefully it will make me a better person.

I have had, what some would perhaps call, a turbulent life. The worst of it all beginning with an intentional drug overdose at 13. 14 years later I gave birth to my daughter and 5 months after that I was diagnosed with post natal depression.

My daughter is now 15 months old, I am on anti-depressants and am seeing a councellor, social worker and a mother-baby therapist. A lot of the work I am doing now is about things that happened a long time before my daughter came on the scene, but if I'd not had her I would never have found the help.

Having my little girl has given me the need to save myself so that I can be the fantastic mum that I've always expected myself to be. However I'm still working on the part that will forgive me for the mistakes I'm making along the way. I think I am a lot less judgemental than I used to be and less argumentative. I am much more willing to let things slide. However I am also quite content to live in my own little world with my daughter and exclude everyone else, unfortunately including my husband. Hopefully that will get sorted too.