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Our Rating
  1 star

Duration: 150 mins

Review
This is dumber, noisier, more violent and, if possible, even more preposterous than the first Transformers movie. That at least had a plot you could follow and characters you cared about. This one is mainly over-the-top action sequences interrupted by huge slabs of nonsensical plot exposition expressed in dialogue that is so cheesy it's laughable.

The action sequences might be fun, if you could figure out what was going on. However, the Transformers themselves are so over-designed that, when the fighting starts, it is hard to tell who is doing what to whom and why.

After a while, you just don't care. There is certainly no heart to this movie. There is a minuscule father-son subplot that is so perfunctory you wonder why they bothered. Only one of the characters is remotely interesting, and he doesn't appear until half way through. The one redeeming feature of this movie is its humour, but even that gets lost in all the chaos and cacophony.

Language: A fair bit of swearing, including "shit", "ass", "punk-ass", "asshole", "screwed up", "crazy bitch", "son of a bitch", "kiss this, bitch", "suck my popsicle", "bugger it", "bollocks", "frigging" and probably a lot more - but the dialogue is so poorly articulated that it is often hard to hear what is said. The boring plot exposition, unfortunately, is all too audible.

Violence/distressing scenes: You don't go to a Transformers movie if don't enjoy some degree of violence. There are many robot-on-robot fights, featuring eviscerations, beheadings, stabbings, amputations, shootings, blowings-up and other mechanical carnage. Human characters are also stomped on, shot at, blown up, crushed and drowned. Most of the violence is fairly bloodless and not very distressing, because it is hard to care for any of the anonymous or one-dimensional characters.
<<SPOILER ALERT>> A couple of main characters do die. However, their deaths are so melodramatic that it's impossible to take them seriously.

Sex/nudity: There are only three female characters in the movie: two of whom function purely as sex objects, while the third is a ditz. So there is a lot of teenage cheesecake, in terms of provocative poses and sexual innuendo, but no actual sex. A couple of dogs, however, are seen bonking, and a small Transformer humps a girl's leg. Yes, it's that sophisticated!

Drugs/alcohol: Alcohol is consumed at a dance party; the hero's mother inadvertently eats hash brownies, with very predictable results.

Target audience: Please note that this is rated 'M' for Mature audiences - so it's not meant for young children. Its intended audience is teenage boys.

Themes & Values: The main values this film promotes are violence is entertainment, girls are sex objects, and boys are only interested in violence and sex.

Trailer: